The Brave, the Strong, the True, revisited

"Do you get that feeling in your stomach--"
"You mean nervousness about the flight?"
"Yeah...and leaving Spain and getting home and exam and everything..."
I pause.  There it is, the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Check in for your flight.  Print your boarding pass.  Is your carry-on too big?  What if you over sleep?  You still need gifts for so-and-so. Did you even get that question on your grammar exam correct anyway?  You probably should have studied more.  You see Nathaniel in two days!  etc etc. 

The list goes on and on.

"Yeah. I got it..."  I shiver, and make a face at my friend.  "Maybe I want some cola-cao.  Do I want some cola-cao?"
"Come on.  How many more times are you going to get to order Cola-Cao in Spain."
"True."  I grin, and get up to order.

•••

Its my last day here in the beautiful city of Granada, and I have literally no idea how that happened.  It seems like its always been tucked around a curtain, out of sight, gradually peeking out.  Then, suddenly, its hovering above me.  And I am literally at a loss of how to react.  So I'll put that off, and instead talk about what what this time has given me.

This blog start off about courage.  About what my mom saw in me.  Her daughter, the brave, strong, and true, and me having no clue what she meant.  And then I learned so much more.  I learned about humility and what it meant to be a world citizen.  I learned about patience.  There was lesson upon lesson about perseverance as I woke up every morning, and no small bit about forgiveness. I learned to open my heart to people, even when I knew I would have to say goodbye.  Possibly forever.  I learned to face the new and strange, and find the familiar in it.  I lost myself here, and I found myself.  And I learned what was more important to me than anything.  What and who I loved more than anything.  The people that I missed, that I wept for, was in the first part my family.  I had no idea just what my family meant to me prior to this time apart from them.  And I had to idea of the strength  of their love for me either.  I mean, I did, but not quite in this way.  Now I can't wait to get home to tell them just how much I love them.

But in the end, I also discovered a strength within myself.  A strength I never knew I had.  And a courage I had never known.  Moreover, I found a truth about myself.  At the end of the day, Im really just a nice girl, with big dreams, from a small town, and the most important thing to me is, and always will be my family.  So I guess mom was always right.  I really am her girl, the brave,  the strong,  and the true.