They say that real courage is facing your fear, especially when you are terrified. I wrote this post on a sheet of notebook paper, and saved it, so not to forget these thoughts. These seem the best thoughts to introduce you to my adventure, and then to introduce you to my last few days.
I can't tell if this classroom is stiflingly hot or not. Twenty-five of us are packed in here, squished into these semi-comfortable green desk chairs, facing our director. The room isn't too large, but it isn't the overwhelming amounts of people that makes the room feel crowded, nor the heat that makes it feel stuffy.
It is the energy and the emotions that we all carry. Excitement, tension, and even disappoint too. Anxiety can be good and bad. We don't really know what will happen over the course of the semester. How can we? As for me, I sit watching a film preparing us for our short visit to Morocco, and feel somewhat conflicted. I love the students here. I love the streets, walking to school along the river. All the different kinds of people. The school campus. The city itself. But I still have this pit of fear in my stomach. And I think that I would have felt less anxious about this semester in general if things hadn't gone so terribly wrong from the beginning. And fear isn't something that is like me at all.
So now is the time to explain why I am so afraid and how I am becoming brave.
No comments:
Post a Comment